Check, Please
by senor failboat
Summary: Sasuke gets sick of the rabid fangirls, and goes to his only sanctuary from figure conscious females: Ichiraku Ramen. [SasuNaru HYPERcrack]


**Check, please.**

Author's Notes: I'M IN COMPUTERS CLASS! o.o

_RUN._

**Warning: **Uhh... it's hyperness.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto..._

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Uzumaki Naruto yawned, and looked out his window.

'Wow, brick wall. How exciting,' he thought to himself, frowning. God, he should seriously move someday... maybe when he became Hokage! Yeah, he'd just, like, LIVE in his Hokage's office.

"I have the greatest ideas," he said to himself, smirking at his oh-so-genius thought. He flung his bedsheets in a random direction, and stepped out of bed, only to trip and fall on a little fox plushie. "OW," He shouted, rubbing his forehead with his hand. Tripping sucked.

He pouted, and picked up the little fox.

"Kitsune-chan, why did you trip me?" he asked it in a cute little voice, poking it's little stomach with his finger.

Kyuubi giggled inside his mind, and then mentally smacked the boy. "Stop tickling me, host! It huuuuurts" Naruto grinned, and patted the fox plushie's head. Dang, he had almost forgotten that Kyuubi could feel what the plushie felt... tehe. He kissed the plushie's nose, and put it down.

Naruto smiled, now mostly awake, and walked into his kitchen, grabbing some ramen out of his cupboard.

"Instant ramen is truly an invention of GOD," he stated, pouring hot water into it. Now, all he had to do was be patient enough to wait the three to five minutes required...

twenty seconds later

"DAMN IT THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG" He cried, tossing the ramen out the window. (oh gawd!) "I'm going to Ichiraku," he muttered, glaring at nothing as he left his apartment.

---------------

The boy scowled at the flowers. He scowled at the trees. He scowled at the fangirls stalking him, although they took it as a lustful wink. He scowled at the damned bird singing, and the tree it was in burst aflame. Uchiha Sasuke was in a scowl-y mood today, because he had fallen out of his bed, into the molesting hands of a group of die-hard fangirls, and, dammit, he'd almost gotten raped, for God's sake. Didn't he make it clear enough to them that he had NO SEXUAL INTEREST WHATSOEVER in them? Jeez.

He turned around, and came face to face with Sakura. She blinked, "Uhm, Sasuke, your eye seems to be twitching again... you okay?"

He growled, "I thought I made it clear by now that I'm gay, Sakura. If you get it, why the hell don't they?"

Sakura sighed, and covered her face with her hand exasperatedly. "I don't KNOW, Sasuke. Listen, why don't you just go eat in a place you know they won't follow you?"

He raised an eyebrow, "And where might that be?"

The pink haired girl smiled, "Well, Ichiraku ramen, of course! After all, they all wanna watch their figure, just in case you might check them out someday in an alternate reality..."

Sasuke smirked, "That's dumb," and left for Ichiraku, leaving Sakura standing alone.

"Damn, even if he is gay, that is one hella hot ass..."

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Naruto smiled brightly as a hot bowl of ramen was set in front of him. "Arigatou, Ayame!" he said, breaking apart his chopsticks. "Itadakimasu!" He dug in to his food, not even noticing as his teammate walked in. Sasuke shuddered as he watched Naruto eat. Cute as the boy might be, it was pretty horrendous, watching him wolf down that meal... He took a seat next to the blonde, and poked his head.

"Yo, dobe."

Naruto nearly choked on his ramen, "T-teme! Don't call me a dobe, Sasuke!" He pointed accusingly at the boy, who simply rolled his eyes as his ramen was set down in front of him.

"Hey, Sasuke-san, why are you eating here? I thought you had, like... riches," Ayame randomly stated, raising an eyebrow.

Naruto blinked, "Oh yeah, Sasuke! What the hell? I've never seen you in here before besides the times our team all go together! What are you doing?"

Sasuke sweatdropped, and pointed out the door at a mass of glowing eyes. "Fangirls... and I think there's a couple of boys in there right now, too," He stated drily, breaking his chopsticks neatly in half.

Naruto blinked. Dang, Sasuke was POPULAR with the laydayz... and the boiiz. Hmm. He shrugged slightly, and polished off his ninth bowl of ramen. He sighed happily, and grinned, leaning back happily and stretching his arms.

"Wow, it's kind of empty, today, isn't it?" He stated idly, looking at the rest of the restaurant. It was, indeed, quite empty, with the only other patrons being a sleeping old man and a blushing little girl petting her kitty cat.

Sasuke shrugged, and silently finished his ramen.

"Was it tasty, rich boy?" Ayame asked, smiling. He shrugged non-commitally, and as he turned his head to speak to Naruto, he missed the girl doing a silly victory dance.

"What's up, dobe?" He asked, eyeing the entrance, still haunted by devoted fangirls.

Naruto blinked, blushed as he realized Sasuke was starting a non-insulting conversation, and shrugged. "I got hungry... so I came here. Not much happening."

The two boys lapsed into silence, and kept stealing glances at each other.

'Damn... is it hot in here, or is it just me?' Sasuke wondered, cursing whatever ancestor had decided the Uchiha just HAD to have gigantic collars on their damn shirts. Naruto, on the other hand, was mentally chatting with Kyuubi.

'Come on, host, kiss him! He SOOOO wants you!' Kyuubi insisted, grinning.

Naruto blushed, 'Kyuubi, no, I can't! Sasuke is my friend, not my sexual interest!'

Kyuubi laughed. Evilly. 'Oh, really?! I seem to remember a certain little dream, Naruto-kun... I know how old you are, dammit! I KNOW YOU'RE STARTING PUBERTY!'

Naruto blushed a bright red. 'Kyuubi! Shut up! I don't know what you're talking about!!' He insisted, on the verge of tears.

Kyuubi grinned. 'Yeah, sure, you DON'T remember when you dreamed of Sasuke kissing you... gosh, Naruto, for a kid with an evil fox demon inside of him, who just happens to be a NINJA kid, for God's sake, you suck at lying...'

Naruto "humph"ed in reality, and Sasuke looked at him oddly.

"Dobe, what the hell?"

Naruto blinked, and looked at Sasuke. "Huh? Did you say something?"

At that moment, Ayame slipped, and accidentally pushed Naruto forward. (omg terrible cliche!)

"Oh my gawd! G-gomena..." she trailed off, watching as Naruto fell forward...  
straight  
into  
Sasuke.

Their lips met, and for a moment, neither one moved. It was oddly reminiscent to that fateful day at the academy, they both realized, before they pulled apart quickly.

"Oh, wow. I am so sorry..." Ayame muttered, gazing, transfixed, at the two boys. "Uhm.. I'll be over here if you guys need me!" She said quickly, scurrying away.

"...wow." Naruto murmured, staring at Sasuke, who simply nodded. "That was... kinda... maybe nice." The blonde said, blushing. Sasuke nodded once again, and cupped Naruto's chin in his hand, slowly pulling him forward, this time for an actual kiss. All the fangirls at the door died, but it wasn't much of a loss, so no one really cared.

As they pulled apart, Naruto blinked, and brought a hand up to his lips, blushing.

'I told you host! Hah! I am so smart!' Kyuubi gloated, causing Naruto to blush scarlet. Sasuke smirked, and grabbed Naruto's hand.

"Check, please."

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**Author's Notes:** I'm not high. I was hyper when I wrote this.


End file.
